Ethan Classic: Top 3 over the top/stupid deaths in media

written By Ethan

Edited by Kwame Obiri-Addai

Originally written October 2019 for polypoint

Another one bites the dust

It is October the month of spooky so to kick it off I have for you a list of the top three stupidest or over the top deaths I could find in all of media. This list is order of what I feel is the least worst to the very worst so without further ado let’s get the show on the road. 

3. Abin Sur (DC comics)

    Cause of death: crashed spaceship 

Hal Jordan’s origin story is iconic, cocky pilot comes across a crashed spaceship and a Ring that lets him fly through space and fight crime. Everyone knows it and its been told many times since the first time in 1959 but have you ever stopped to think why was Abin Sur in a spaceship when the ring he wears to be a green lantern lets him fly in space with zero issue?

Hal Jordan’s iconic origin story is reliant on the greatest green lantern of his time not using his ring and taking an unnecessary spaceship.   

2. The Wasp (Ultimate universe)

 Cause of death: being eaten by the Blob 

Marvels Ultimate universe is mainly remembered as the original universe of Miles Morales, the main character from into the spider-verse but dear reader did you know that to comic book fans Ultimate universe is also know for a few other things? 

Honestly, I could probably fill another top 5 with them but the one I would like to focus on is the event Ultimatum. A poorly reserved excuse to kill of a large number of characters and set up a new status quo which featured amongst many other gruesome deaths the super villain the Blob eating the founding Avenger Wasp. 

1. Quinella (Sword Art Online: Alicization)

 Cause of death: Humped to death by flaming clown 

Serving as the main antagonist of the first half of Sword Art Online: Alicization. Quinella brings us the most over the top and stupidest deaths in all of media. 

After fighting with the main trio of characters, it comes down to just Quinella and main character Kirito after a sort fight Quinella having just lost her second arm chokes Kirito out with her hair. Then while activating a sky beam that will take her out of the digital world they are in and let her lose in the real world, her subordinate a clown man with fire magic sets himself ablaze fly’s up to her mid evil monolog and starts humping her until they both explode. 

Youtuber Mother’s Basement has a Fantastic video braking down discussing the series as a whole. So, if you would like to have full context for this / see proof I am not making this up you can watch his video Here

If anything Quinella’s death ended the series on a bang. 

Ethan Classics: Top 5 dumbest moments to happen in superhero comics

written By Ethan

Edited by Kwame Obiri-Addai

Originally written August 2019 for polypoint

Some less than MARVELlous ideas. 

Superhero comics have existed for a very long time and now with the work of the MCU and the DCEU, their superheroes are household names but with all long running things, there comes a lot of stupid and that is what we are here to look at today. 

1. That time that Spider-man killed MJ with his radioactive sperm. ( Spider-Man Reign 2006-2007)

Spider-man Reign tells the story of an older, sadder peter parker who begins the story retired. Later it is revealed that in this continuity, his then wife died  from cancer he caused from…. well you read the title. 

2. This moment from All Star Batman & Robin the Boy Wonder ( 2005- 2008)

Frank Miller’s All Star Batman & Robin the Boy Wonder, other than having more than enough moments to fill one of these list up by itself, had this one moment in issue 3 and after this the phrase “I’m The Goddamn Batman” has been something that has stuck with the character ever since. 

3. That time the Joker was the Iranian ambassador 

Here is something that often gets forgotten about- in the same story where the Joker kills Jason Todd, this happens. I don’t even need to explain that the Joker becoming the Iranian ambassador was all part of a plan to sell nuclear weapons to terrorists from Lebanon, the panel speaks for itself.

4. Captain America doesn’t know what My Space is 

During the first civil war event, one tie-in comic showed Cap sitting down for an interview to get his side out there but instead the interviewer spends her time attempting to illustrate how out of touch with the times Captain America is.  

5. Gwen Stacy and Norman Osborn had children together

Spider-man Sin’s Past introduced two villains to the canon and what was their back story? They were the super aged-up children of Gwen Stacy and Norman Osborn who had a one night stand together while she was with Peter and had the children in secret.

The panel here is of Peter imagining what happened and giving us the single worst two panels in comic book history- the Green Goblin’s O-face in and out of costume.   

Ethan awards 2022

written By Ethan

Edited by Kwame Obiri-Addai      

Welcome, reader, to the second (hopefully annual this time) Ethan awards ! This is where I highlight some of my favourite things I’ve experienced this year as well as some of my least favourite things. The main rule I’ll be using to make this easier is that it’s got to be something I experienced this year and to keep that rule, I’ll be making my award selections from the media thread I’ve been making over on twitter all year. You can check it out here if you want to see what other things were in the running : here

So without further adieu, our first award ! 

The I'm Still upset about it Award 

for piece the piece of media I'm still upset about several months later

Kamen Rider OOO 10th: Core Medal of Resurrection 

Winner : Kamen Rider OOO 10th: Core Medal of Resurrection 

This was the film released to celebrate the 10th anniversary of Kamen Tider 000s, a show that spoiler-ended with a major character death that lead to the main character setting off on a quest around the world to try and bring them back - a status quo that had been in place for every cameo up till this film. Kamen Rider OOO 10th: Core Medal of Resurrection, as you might guess from the name, promised to conclude the main character’s post series quest. This film, about 30 mins in, reveals the big twist. The main character died before the start of the film and a new monster made from the main character's desire is possessing his body. And none of this is getting into the wasted potential of reviving the ancient king that tried to take over the world with the Kamen Rider 000s powers he invented only to give him an awful looking powered up form that jobs to the new villain. Boo. At least the new movie form for the main characters is cool, and very gay too so there's at least that.

The Pet Cemetery Award 

For most surprising revival 

Winner: Dexter New Blood

 Dexter New Blood -

Honestly, I remember being pretty positive about it, and i know some people hated the ending but after all the stink the original series ending got, there was no way this was going to end any other way. 

The “Ultraman is amazing and you should check it out” Award 

For Ultraman-related thing I'm going to gush about briefly here 

Winner: Ultra Galaxy Fight: The Destined Crossroad

Following from the last Ultra Galaxy fight film, this continues the war between the Ultras and the Absolutians for the Ultra’s home planet. It released earlier this year for rental on Ultraman Connection, and on YouTube in Sub and Dub at the end of the year in many parts ( ill add a hyperlink here to a playlist)  , I won’t get too far into it here as I do plan on writing a full review when its fully out on YouTube. 

The “Wait, what do you mean it came out this year?” award 

For thing that most feels like it came out over a decade ago 

Winner: Mobius 

During the hype around this film and the ”Morbius sweep” meme, people started streaming this on Twitch. Seeing Twitch chat lose their minds at the Matt Smith ”Have Sex” dance scene truly made it better then when I saw this officially. They sure picked a fitting release date for this mess of a film. 

Our next award is our final one so before we get to it, a lighting round of other awards for things I will probably give a full review or something in 2023 with a small summary about it now. 

The Highest Education Award for most education programming - Winner:  Don’t Hug Me Im Scared (season 1)

 If you loved the original series, you will love this. Amazing stuff, I can’t wait for season 2 

The Best Chom Award for only anime thing that made it on here - Winner: Cyberpunk Edgerunners

Odds are, you already know it’s great and I don’t need to add to it 

The “I wish I could see it in real quality” Award -  Winner:  Shin Ultraman. 

This film released in Japan in May, and has been treated like a traveling attraction in the US all year since being shown exclusively at contention in very limited theatrical showing. So when it leaked online, me with my not being able to watch things in theaters due to my eye condition and not being able to attend very limited shows half way around the world,  watched it in awful low quality. And had an ok time knowing that I'm having a worse experience with something. I was extremely excited for a year prior because of the handling of this film by those with the rights and distribution rights, who chose not to give it a wider release or put it on streaming services. Also I had this film spoiled for me a month after it came out. I look forward to the day I’ll be able to enjoy this film in the way it deserves. 

The Returning Alive Award for show that killed its own cultural relevance with its final season and announced a new spin off that was actually pretty good - Winner: House of the Dragon (season 1)

The best thing on Amazon Prime Award for the best thing on Amazon Prime - Winner:  Kamen Rider Black Sun

This goes so hard, go watch it (you might need to use the japanese version of the shows title to find it) 

The “Microsoft keeps catching L’s” Award for biggest L Microsoft has caught this year - Winner:  High on Life. 

It was originally funded as a Stadia exclusive and now is being called "the kinda game Microsoft needs more of", instead of, you know, good exclusives like Sony has.

The “Really captured Elon Musk” Award for best awful billionaire character - Winner: Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery 

If you have watched the film, you know what I mean. 

And now, finally 

The Glorious Golden God award for the best piece of media I watched in 2022

Winner: LEGEND - A DRAGON BALL TALE

This 11min fan film is, in my own opinion, the coolest piece of dragon ball content I’ve ever seen. I don’t want to talk about this too much because I want you to go into this blind. You may watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JKLM45aIik&ab_channel=AgentMysteryMeat  

And that brings 2022 to a close. Let’s hope 2023 is even better. Thank you to Kwame for proof reading all of these, everyone in my life that supports me and most of you readers, I hope you have had a happy holiday and a wonderful new year.